Friday, March 6, 2009

Turf toes ... and bodies

I have just invented the ultimate football weapon. I was going to keep it a secret by storing the details in my parents' basement, where I live and presumably will live for the rest of my life.

But instead I've decided to share it with all of you, free of charge. You're welcome.

My invention is the all turf/grass football uniform!

Imagine it! Dolphins players' uniforms, shoes, helmets, mouthpieces, everything, would be covered in turf. This could be the greatest gridiron idea ever.

Say Darelle Revis is covering Ted Ginn. Good luck, Darelle. He'll be like, "Hey, where'd that MF'er go? All I see is the field." Meanwhile, Ginn is standing right next to him and ready to run by for a touchdown.

By the way, I'd like us to trade Ernest Wilford to the Jets, who need a tall receiver, for Revis, who could be a starting cornerback for us. He'd sure look good wearing grass!

n n n

Remember Dan Marino's fake spike play? I've posted a video of it on the right side panel of this page. Check it out!


  1. can they smoke their uniforms after each game?

  2. bungle this site is hilarious. i dont know who you are but you definitely made me laugh. good work man!

  3. you're an idiot.... chris long?