1 Detroit Tigers - Matt Stafford, QB, Georgia; Matt Millen needs a quarterback to throw to all of those receivers he drafted.
2 St. Louis Rams - Jason Smith, OT, Bailor; He went to Bailor but he will be the next Pace. Get it?
3 Kansas City Cheifs - Chris Long, DE/LB, Virginia; The son of an old player, he will help the pass rush
4 Cleveland Browns - Everrette Brown, DE/LB, Florida State; He’s short but his last name is Brown. The Browns can probably market him in a funny way.
5 Seattle Sea Hawks - Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech; I don’t know. Everyone else said he’d go here so I guess whatever.
6 Cinccinnatti Bengals - LeSean McCoy, RB, Pittsburhg; Les Nessman...LeS(ean) McCoy. Need I say more?
7 Oakland Raiders - Michael Crabtree, WR, TExas Tech; Al Davis likes drafting players.
9 Green Bay Packers - Mark Sanchez, QB, USC; Brett Farve didn’t have a good year but he is now retired, so the Pack” needs a new passer.
10 San Francisco 49Niners - Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forrest; Their coach, I can’t remember his name, used to be a linebacker so it make sense.
11 Buffalo Bills - B.J. Raji, NT, Boston College; It is very cold in Buffalo and it gets cold in Boston also, so, you know.
12 Denver Broncos - Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State; Mick Daniels doesn’t like Jay Cutler and will likely let him sit the bench to teach him a lesson.
13 Redskins - Pass. The Redskins spent a lot of money on free agency so it might be a good idea if they just forfeit their first round pick to save money. I think they can save it and use it any time later on. I’ll look into it.
14 New Orleans Saints - Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU; He’s already close so punctuality would be a big plus with him.
15 Houston Oilers - Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers; This team all ready had a moon, now it needs a star! This guy is good and he played in New Jersey where there seems to be an oddly high number of Dolphins fans.
16 San Diego Chargers - Andre Smith, OT, Alabama; This guy is fat as all hell but he’ll be able to shed pounds because of the sun in San Diego.
17 New York Jets - Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss; Rex Ryan needed a replacement for Ray Lewis.
18 Chicago Bears - Percy Harvin, WR, Flordai; Rex Grossman will feel more comfy throwing to a player from his own school.
19 Tampabay Buccaneers - Clay Matthews, DE/LB, USC; This dude totally looks like a pirate.
20 Detroit Lions - Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia; Somebody needs to protect new starting QB Mark Sanchez.
21 Philadelphia Eagles - Sammie Lee Hill, DL, Stillman; I’m pretty sure the Eagles like guys you don’t really know.
22 Minnesota Vikings - Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia; I honestly don’t trust Brad Childress. Something is up with him. Seriously, authorities should check out his basement when he isn’t home.
24 New England Patriots - Cullen Harper, QB, Clemson; The Pats need a back-up QB to replace Matt Cassel.
23 Atlanta - I have no idea.
25 Miami Dolphins - Rey Maualuga, LB, USC; Remember when Pete Carroll gave the choke sign to Pete Stoyanovich? Who is laughing now? Actually, I don’t know what that means.
26 Miami Dolphins - Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois; Baltimore needed a big receiver so Miami sends them Ernest Wilford and QB John Beck for this pick.
27 Indianapolis Colts - Pat White, QB, West W.V.; It’s time for a change at QB in Indy.
28 Philadelphia Eagles - Chris Beanie Wells, QB, Ohio State; Donovan McNabb can’t play forever and this guy probably likes soup, too.
29 N. York Giants - Alec Mack, C, Cal; New York is the center of the world, in some ways, so this works.
30 Tenesee Titans - James Laurinaitis, LB, Ohio State; How cool would it be if the Titans came out to the Road Warrior music every game? One of them died I think, though.
31 Arizona Cardinals - Myron Rolle, S, Florida State; Arizona is a pretty tight-walleted team so this is a brilliant pick. Rolle can play safety and help with the training/medical staff all for one salary. Excellent value.
32 Pittsburgh Steelers - Hakeem Nicks, WR, N.C.; Ben Roethlsiberger doesn’t like Heinz Ward because he is short.
2 St. Louis Rams - Jason Smith, OT, Bailor; He went to Bailor but he will be the next Pace. Get it?
3 Kansas City Cheifs - Chris Long, DE/LB, Virginia; The son of an old player, he will help the pass rush
4 Cleveland Browns - Everrette Brown, DE/LB, Florida State; He’s short but his last name is Brown. The Browns can probably market him in a funny way.
5 Seattle Sea Hawks - Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech; I don’t know. Everyone else said he’d go here so I guess whatever.
6 Cinccinnatti Bengals - LeSean McCoy, RB, Pittsburhg; Les Nessman...LeS(ean) McCoy. Need I say more?
7 Oakland Raiders - Michael Crabtree, WR, TExas Tech; Al Davis likes drafting players.
9 Green Bay Packers - Mark Sanchez, QB, USC; Brett Farve didn’t have a good year but he is now retired, so the Pack” needs a new passer.
10 San Francisco 49Niners - Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forrest; Their coach, I can’t remember his name, used to be a linebacker so it make sense.
11 Buffalo Bills - B.J. Raji, NT, Boston College; It is very cold in Buffalo and it gets cold in Boston also, so, you know.
12 Denver Broncos - Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State; Mick Daniels doesn’t like Jay Cutler and will likely let him sit the bench to teach him a lesson.
13 Redskins - Pass. The Redskins spent a lot of money on free agency so it might be a good idea if they just forfeit their first round pick to save money. I think they can save it and use it any time later on. I’ll look into it.
14 New Orleans Saints - Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU; He’s already close so punctuality would be a big plus with him.
15 Houston Oilers - Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers; This team all ready had a moon, now it needs a star! This guy is good and he played in New Jersey where there seems to be an oddly high number of Dolphins fans.
16 San Diego Chargers - Andre Smith, OT, Alabama; This guy is fat as all hell but he’ll be able to shed pounds because of the sun in San Diego.
17 New York Jets - Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss; Rex Ryan needed a replacement for Ray Lewis.
18 Chicago Bears - Percy Harvin, WR, Flordai; Rex Grossman will feel more comfy throwing to a player from his own school.
19 Tampabay Buccaneers - Clay Matthews, DE/LB, USC; This dude totally looks like a pirate.
20 Detroit Lions - Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia; Somebody needs to protect new starting QB Mark Sanchez.
21 Philadelphia Eagles - Sammie Lee Hill, DL, Stillman; I’m pretty sure the Eagles like guys you don’t really know.
22 Minnesota Vikings - Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia; I honestly don’t trust Brad Childress. Something is up with him. Seriously, authorities should check out his basement when he isn’t home.
24 New England Patriots - Cullen Harper, QB, Clemson; The Pats need a back-up QB to replace Matt Cassel.
23 Atlanta - I have no idea.
25 Miami Dolphins - Rey Maualuga, LB, USC; Remember when Pete Carroll gave the choke sign to Pete Stoyanovich? Who is laughing now? Actually, I don’t know what that means.
26 Miami Dolphins - Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois; Baltimore needed a big receiver so Miami sends them Ernest Wilford and QB John Beck for this pick.
27 Indianapolis Colts - Pat White, QB, West W.V.; It’s time for a change at QB in Indy.
28 Philadelphia Eagles - Chris Beanie Wells, QB, Ohio State; Donovan McNabb can’t play forever and this guy probably likes soup, too.
29 N. York Giants - Alec Mack, C, Cal; New York is the center of the world, in some ways, so this works.
30 Tenesee Titans - James Laurinaitis, LB, Ohio State; How cool would it be if the Titans came out to the Road Warrior music every game? One of them died I think, though.
31 Arizona Cardinals - Myron Rolle, S, Florida State; Arizona is a pretty tight-walleted team so this is a brilliant pick. Rolle can play safety and help with the training/medical staff all for one salary. Excellent value.
32 Pittsburgh Steelers - Hakeem Nicks, WR, N.C.; Ben Roethlsiberger doesn’t like Heinz Ward because he is short.
I hope you liked my draft. Let me know what you think. misterbungle@ymail.com.
Kenny Britt to the Texans at #15? Are you retarded? And Chris Long can't go #3 because he was drafted last year.
ReplyDeleteI echo charlie's 'douchebag' comment.
LOL
ReplyDeleteYa because the Packers didn't just sign Aaron Rodgers to a 6 year deal, and he didnt just have 29 passing touchdowns with 14 interceptions and over 4000 yards.. The Packers DO NOT need another QB. Aaron Rodgers will be a pro bowler for years to come.
ReplyDeleteBut this did give me a good laugh though. Houstion Oilers? Seriously?
please please please update this blog more often. i have been laughing so hard i am crying. this is the most wonderful mock draft i have ever read. update more!
ReplyDeleteGreat job! You've made my whole day. I dont know the last time I laughed so hard. I went back an read it again two more times it was so funny. My son is a college player who is projected to be drafted and I found a link to this on a draft website.
ReplyDeleteMyron rolle is stayin in school......wow youre all mixed up
ReplyDeletebungle! u r trippin! hahahaha
ReplyDeletethat is awesome. detroit tigers, houston oilers. Some of you people are stupid for not getting this.
ReplyDeleteMicheal Crabtree got drafted twice.
ReplyDelete